Life Goes On...

She was 18 years old. She looked good, she had intelligence, she had ambition, but most of all she had the ability to dream. She had never had any dreams shattered, or destroyed, and believed that to make a dream come true all she had to do was work towards it with everything she possessed.
She wanted to be an author, a journalist, a teacher, a social worker but most of all she dreamed of being married to the man of her dreams and living a dream of a marriage. She had wonderful parents, and everything else anyone would want but she always felt there was something lacking- a spark? true happiness? some void? She still doesn't know what exactly was lacking but it certainly wasn't what she got.
She had some rather strange ideas about marriage. In the early teen years looks was all that mattered. But at 18 she thought none of that mattered. She thought that all he had to be was religious and he would be the perfect husband. And when he came along she thought, this is it! He was an aalim, a haafidh, he seemed very religious and decent. So, casting aside everything that her family and friends told her;that she was too young, did she really even like him.....But no, her mind was made up. She married him.

It lasted two months. They didn't live together, met for an hour maybe each day. She realized you didn't need to live with a person to get to know them, those mere hours were enough. She had married someone who lived a lie, who preached, sported the sunnah of keeping a beard, who gave talks....but who practiced nothing. Who smeared the Sunnah of the Prophet by keeping a beard and dressing in the Sunnah way, but acted against it. Someone who committed many wrongs, but gave the world the impression he was a practicing Muslim. She found out he had never married her for HER, but to get a name.

Marriage was something sacred to her. But she wasn't willing to live like this.
The inevitable happened, they divorced.

Life seemed to be on hold. As if someone had stopped time and let it hang on a thread for a period of days and weeks. She had never been in love, she was not recovering from a broken heart. But her dreams had been shattered, her heart left lifeless. She knew aalims and scholars who were great people, true scholars. But now she had come across an 'aalim' who destroyed the whole concept of what a scholar is-for her anyway. Her biggest dream had turned into a farce.

She realized though, that Life Goes On. Almost more than a year onwards, she has put it behind her, knowing that there are many more men out there, one of whom will fulfil her dream. She knows that religiousness is not the only thing to look for, there are many more things to consider. Personality, Attraction, REAL religiousness. But she is in no hurry; one of the most valuable things she learned was to take life as it goes by, don't be too impatient, too hasty, take it slowly, savour every moment, supplicate with common sense.
She did lose one thing though. She doesn't dream so easily. She doesn't want another one destroyed. She knows that instead of dreaming, trust Allah Azza Wa'Jal and he will be there every step.
And life goes On. Don't wallow in distress. This life is merely the turning of a spinning wheel, it may seem slow, but before you know it, its over. So live it to the full, don't waste it, be happy.

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Not everyone is cut out to be a scholar. There are some who will never practice on what they learnt, they won't even try. These people are a bane and an embarassment to society, these people spoilt it for those scholars who strive to live for Allah. Don't force your sons and daughters, your brothers and sisters to become aalims and aalimas. Let them choose; and only make them complete the course if they have the Qabiliyyat, the ability to try to act upon Ilm-e-Deen. Because he who sins knowingly is certainly worse than he who sins unknowingly.

If Allah brings you to it; He will bring you through it.


Suffering is a gift. In it is hidden mercy. -Jalaluddin Rumi